Most people would read that title and think "Of course not" but with all of the recent attack on black women in the media by OUR men you have to stop and think about it. I asked myself this question when I saw the FINE Isaiah Mustafah throw us under the bus . In a recent interview Isaiah was doing a routine interview on E! about his current projects. As the interview progress of course the topic of his love life came up and he was asked what kind of woman he desired and his most pertinent answer was that she have good hair. Really? Are you serious??? Are we really here still in 2011? Never mind that you find a person to love you, cherish you, accept your faults as well as put your needs before their own. Once again our character and our hearts will never be as important as the curl pattern of the strands on our heads. What's really sad is that he isn't the only black male celebrity to publicly lash out at us. Dhani Jones, Reggie Bush,Lil' Wayne and Ochocinco have been known to only care for light complexions and "Good Hair". It seems the more some successful black men become the more they separate themselves from us. We have to deal with discrimination in our every day lives as black women but now the same judgement seems to have slipped into our homes. It's a sad day when we can't even seek comfort in our own men. The same men that were raised, taught, loved, and protected by black women , now want them nowhere in our lives. As Lauryn Hill would say " It seems we lose the game, before we even start to play."
When with this modern slave mentality end? How long will we have to deal with this burden of self hate? What will these men tell their daughters, who by the way look nothing like the women that they seek. What kind of message are you sending to them. It seems that black women are good enough to bear their children but not good enough to take their place beside you.
I'm not speaking for all black men. I know that our kings are still among us. But for some reason the few that totally reject us still get to me. I pose this question: Where did all of this anger coming from? People we must stop comparing each other on a scale that we don't even fit in. The sooner we can stop being so hard on ourselves, the sooner we can start healing. We can stop passing this nonsense to our children. We so desperately want to be accepted by other races but we cant even accept ourselves.
I have read your comments and I commend you for your honest quest for truth. In truth, I have to be honest with you. I am a gay black man I have I have been not only on both sides of the fences but all around the yard searching for true love, black and white women then black and white men.
ReplyDeleteIt aint easy no matter what your preference. But what I have noticed with black men as all men is that society demands we compete daily. The last place we want to compete is with the person we chose to love. We want to be nurtured and supported. Even if the relationship is uneven financially (by you or him) , emotional support is more important.
As a black man we are beaten down in this society from the crib to the grave and nearly daily. The last place we want a beat down is from our women and when this happens too much we go white. Yes, you should push your man to his potential when he needs it but there is a way to do this without castrating him. Take Michele and Barak for instance. We know there is no way he made it there without her supporting and encouraging him. This is a example for every black man and women.
When black women choose a partner chose one for life and not for right now. Right now can give you a life time of problems because right now can go wrong at any time. Through my college days and now as an adult I would see the biggest white male geek with the most beautiful white women and I would questioned how did this happen. It happened because she chose a partner that would support her for life and whatever support she needed to provide to make him a CEO, she would do it. black women on the other hand can go for the brother with the most swag, not necessarily CEO material. Trust me on this one, Barak was probably a big geek before he got into politics.
Play the role you are divinely equipped for the woman and not both woman and man and never seek answers about relationship success from a single, divorced or unhappily married woman.