Some of the closest relationships that we develop over our lives. They are our sounding board, our comfort. They allow us to let our guard down and really let someone into our hearts. Many of us share more in our friendships than we do in our romantic relationships. Our friends see us, as a whole. They see the smiles, the laughter, and those shattered moments that only they can understand. We trust them with our secrets and we guard theirs to the end. But what happens when those relationships fall apart? Many times this is the most devastating loss that one can experience. It almost can be compared to a death. Certain places, and times are day are all of a sudden off limits. The ghosts of friendships past seem to haunt you.
Having come into contact with this myself I find the best comfort in reflection. Where did it go wrong? Was it toxic from beginning? What was my part? Their part? So many questions to ask and no one to answer but myself. The best thing that I can offer is that you need to move on. If the friendship lasted a while then you have more than enough ammo against the other person but hold tight before you pull the trigger. Hurting someone else out of retaliation of them hurting you is only going to drag this out and make it more painful than it already is. If you are truly done with the friendship then there are some steps that you need to take. First and foremost block all social media outlets. That means unfollowing from Twitter, Unfriending from Facebook, and deleting numbers out of your phone. When you are able to completely pull back you are able to get a better grasp on the situation. If you happen to run into them in public you can be cordial if you like or simply ignore it. A failed friendship doesn't define you, and it shouldn't set the tone for your future connections. Remember that you are worthy, and you have a lot to offer. One bad apple doesn't spoil the whole bunch.
Go Faye! Though i will say-- do you remember a certain event back in 2006 or 07 with a certain group of friends? Not gonna name any names but remember we ALL had a falling out with each other at some point. I think it comes as friends just needing space apart at some point in each others lives. And if they can survive that break-- like WE did- then GREAT! If not, then yes, they should definitely move on. And the only time someone should pull a trigger is if they can handle the backfire. you know me, i run in bustin caps, so i'm always ready for the backfire, but some arent, so that was a very good point.
ReplyDeleteim so happy to see you got your blog up! :-)
btw, this is Joe.. i dont have a blogspot so i had to log in under AIM.
A TRUE friend is def hard to find. If you can go through life with 1 that is honest and true you have beat a lot of the odds. Of course being in this position with you lol, its amazing when you reflect on the time you have allowed a (ex)friend to come in your life and almost soak u of what makes u...You(not associating with people because THEY do not care for them and etc) and while they were soaking you all up, you were not even aware until the element was out of your life,which almost seems to late. I think the real question is... should you be annually checking your friends to make sure you are keeping good company or WHAT! I cant afford to spend 5-10yrs building a friendship for it to end on some bs thats been happening the whole time and i was blinding not noticed since it didnt affect me. After my experience I def will be more guarded with new friendships, if i managed to make more besides tiny circle I have. As my mother would say...good riddens to bad rubbish!!!
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